every day, we strive harder in attempts to pay our bills, keep up with society's trends and look cool while doing it. but i'm not sure we ever live to understand the struggles it took to get here. what we went through as kids to get to where we are now. when our hardest task was picking up our heads to turn the other way when our parents put us on our tummies for "tummy time." when we tried so hard to formulate our first sentence or color in the lines, so that our parents could be proud of us. we rolled down the grassy hills by the museum campus, because that was what happiness was. we crawled in bed and cuddled with our parents when we couldn't sleep and never shunned them for caring for us. for being there, giving us advice. for them helping us with homework, paying to take us to disney world, because that's what happiness was. then we grew up and tried to find our identity - a task that still haunts us, even after we enter our adult lives. we went on our first dates, got our hearts broken and lost friends, yet the closest people were still there for you, because to them, your happiness meant more to them. then we move on, grow up and try to find a job and set of friends that'll all mesh together. we go for drinks in fancy hotel restaurants and pop bottles at the city's best clubs, because that is what your happiness has become.
while on the train the other day. a man stood in the doorway and told us about his struggle. he said "i don't want to beg or ask you for money. but, i've been sleeping on the blue line like a dog. my dad is an alcoholic who makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit than i already am. i'm just tired of being homeless. i'm tired of being hungry." and i sat there, with my ferragamo bag on my lap and my prada sunglasses on my face, as tears filled my eyes. because i realized that what we all go through in life to attain happiness is a struggle. and every person's struggle is different. someone's who's happiness is as simple as a meal to eat or a warm place to sleep. a couple weeks before, i watched tears stream down my best friend's face because she was struggling to find happiness. to find peace. to find a break. and i found myself thinking, that if for two minutes, i could take that pain away, i'd actually be happy.
i grew up in a working class family. a mother who worked in hotels and a father who worked for the airlines. i traveled all over the world before i could even say my first sentence or color in the lines. but the memories made as a family, on those trips... that's what happiness was. when i didn't care about the outfit i wore or the people i strive so hard to impress. when all i wanted to do was take a picture with mickey and minnie and get a signature in my cool autograph book. when i wanted to put my feet in the sand and look at my reflection while picking up sea shells. it all seems so cliche, but that's what my happiness was. riding in my barbie jeep, while my grandfather watched me from the stoop. eating dinner with my family. that was what my happiness was. it slowly morphed into me striving to succeed in my career and social life. soon, clubs and drinks were my happiness. but then i went home with a void that could never be filled. because i realized i hold so much hate and resentment in my heart... for things that i could never control. things in life that took a turn for the worse. and i blamed myself over and over for. but things that could never change. and to this day... i still hold that hate in my heart. and until i let that go, i will never be happy.
the importance of your happiness. it's the reason you strive harder. so that you can get to the highest point in your life, when all of it just makes sense. will it ever make sense? do things ever come together? it's like the first high- you keep chasing and chasing it... until you become addicted to trying to be happy. but the reality of it is, you will never be happy if you aren't true to yourself, your passion and your life. until you let the hate go. until you forgive and move on. do yourself a favor. for every struggle, heart break, loss of life and fall you've ever been through... be happy. be inspired by the world around you. by the kids who just want to roll down the grassy hills, who just want to cuddle with their parents. be emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. just let it all go and find your happiness.
while on the train the other day. a man stood in the doorway and told us about his struggle. he said "i don't want to beg or ask you for money. but, i've been sleeping on the blue line like a dog. my dad is an alcoholic who makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit than i already am. i'm just tired of being homeless. i'm tired of being hungry." and i sat there, with my ferragamo bag on my lap and my prada sunglasses on my face, as tears filled my eyes. because i realized that what we all go through in life to attain happiness is a struggle. and every person's struggle is different. someone's who's happiness is as simple as a meal to eat or a warm place to sleep. a couple weeks before, i watched tears stream down my best friend's face because she was struggling to find happiness. to find peace. to find a break. and i found myself thinking, that if for two minutes, i could take that pain away, i'd actually be happy.
i grew up in a working class family. a mother who worked in hotels and a father who worked for the airlines. i traveled all over the world before i could even say my first sentence or color in the lines. but the memories made as a family, on those trips... that's what happiness was. when i didn't care about the outfit i wore or the people i strive so hard to impress. when all i wanted to do was take a picture with mickey and minnie and get a signature in my cool autograph book. when i wanted to put my feet in the sand and look at my reflection while picking up sea shells. it all seems so cliche, but that's what my happiness was. riding in my barbie jeep, while my grandfather watched me from the stoop. eating dinner with my family. that was what my happiness was. it slowly morphed into me striving to succeed in my career and social life. soon, clubs and drinks were my happiness. but then i went home with a void that could never be filled. because i realized i hold so much hate and resentment in my heart... for things that i could never control. things in life that took a turn for the worse. and i blamed myself over and over for. but things that could never change. and to this day... i still hold that hate in my heart. and until i let that go, i will never be happy.
the importance of your happiness. it's the reason you strive harder. so that you can get to the highest point in your life, when all of it just makes sense. will it ever make sense? do things ever come together? it's like the first high- you keep chasing and chasing it... until you become addicted to trying to be happy. but the reality of it is, you will never be happy if you aren't true to yourself, your passion and your life. until you let the hate go. until you forgive and move on. do yourself a favor. for every struggle, heart break, loss of life and fall you've ever been through... be happy. be inspired by the world around you. by the kids who just want to roll down the grassy hills, who just want to cuddle with their parents. be emotionally and spiritually fulfilled. just let it all go and find your happiness.
